mELofiLez

Five hours ago, just before my classes started. I know I may have written a very stressed out blog. But, I’m glad to announce that the mood has finally eased out. Ok, I didnt find the exam easy or anything, but I was actually misinformed of the schedule! It’s next week, the last week of school. hahahaha. How emabarassing hey?! I full stressed out about it. I was so early for class, and as soon as I saw the teacher I was, "Sir, why are you late? It’s the most special day of the term". My teacher was like, "What are you on about"? I said, "THE EXAMS"!.. Then, he said the magic word: "It’s not till next week!!!" Ohhh, a very big sigh of relief! Thank goodness! So yes, now I’m here… Writing this,… Dumbo me!!!

Right now, I’m in one of the learning centres hitching a computer so I could write this. I also decided to stay in here for lunch, to save me from money. I have also decided to finally put into action, my resolution of not hanging out with people I dont really want to hang out with. I’m so sick of wasting my time sitting around people who talk about how much of sluts, and hoZ and lowlives they are… No offence, but I just cannot stand it anymore. I learnt from last nights message, that I shouldnt be comfortable in the midst of unbelievers, which it true…

Later I have one more class of English for two hours, then another two hours of modern history… Painstaking? YES! To think of it, I’ve got another 6 hours more of work, but I guess that part is better. *sigh* .. I wanna go home, and just lie down, and talk to someone. But hey, I dont have that someone so there’s no use. haahahahaha!

Anywaiz, gonna jetz now.. I still have a filipino assessment to do. Gotta get my deep filo vocabs ON. :))

Till tonight, or tommorrow. :))

cia0! melo-0`

First and foremost, I would like to thank my always loyal avid blog reader seymoure. lol. You’re probably the only one reading this blog anyway.

Ok, Right now I am feeling sh|t! I apologise for the language but the fact that my Math Prelims Exam is like in half an hour makes me just want to drop the doomed subject! Yesterday, I had a photo shoot in the city, so I missed out on all my subjects plus the math revision class. All I have as a study resource is an exam paper from way back in 2002, and some tattered notes I’ve written all along. Hello? Because of this, I’ve been lacking the motivation to study, thus! I am going to sit that exam without even doing a single item as review. Ok, I know I’m to blame, but damn I just hate myself. Why do I have to be so complicated, and all over the place. I want to be simple. I want my life to just revolve around school, work and home. This way, maybe I can study. I wish I wasnt hooked up to blogging or friendster, or any of these online frenzies, then maybe I would have been able to use this precious time to review. But NO, I guess God didnt create me like that. So, enough nagging about that exam and I guess I’ll just have to face it. Nonetheless, please pray for me that I dont do this no more for my upcomig term paper for my filipino class, and my Bussiness Studies test this Monday.

On the other hand, the song addiction……… Remember when I was so into that Japanese song, A Little Pain by Olivia Lufkin? No? .. OK then. Well, now I am seriously so into the theme song of the movie Music and Lyrics, "Way back into Love". Geeez, I can listen to the song all day long and not get sick of it. The words are just so good. It’s so true! Well, for me that is. My hopelessly melodramatic me! hahahaha. For those who has not seen the movie, I encourage you to check it out.

In closing, Today.. Thursday, my most hated day of the week……… The main thing I’m worried about is my math exam. If I fail it, it wont harm my HSC, but! It will jeopardize my chances of getting in International Business in uni. I mean, hello? What kind of bussiness student does not do a math subject, general the least, as a pre-requisite for Year 12??!

Gotta jets now, it’s ten minutes till the test. *nervous*. I have to do good at this, I’m supposed to be the nerd in the class!!!!!!!!!! It was already shameful being second in my English class, scoring a band 4/5. I felt so low. But, to anyone reading this……… PLEASE COMMENT! hahahaha. At least I know I’m not talking to myself.

laterz, cia0!

I’m so glad I watched that movie ‘music and lyrics’ with some friends last friday. It kind of shunned me of some facts, or realisations I havent been paying attention to lately.

Ok, for starters I havent been really writing anything in this blog lately other than some empty meaningless pieces just to cut time. Why? I’ve been a coward when it comes to facing my feelings, and my emotions lately. All I’ve been doing for the past few weeks is just dip myself into studies, work, gym, and hanging out with friends. Nothing like my usual, reminiscing and pondering on my ‘bruhahahas’ in life. To tell you the truth, doing so felt good. The amount of grey hair in my hair has reduced, and my pimples have shrunk. Though, there’s this empty and lost feeling that I felt. Being carefree has it’s cons, which is you feel careless, which means you feel like there’s a hole in your life. Well, that is the reason why I have decided to write once again, like I always do. Why not, live that hardworking, carefree lifestyle, but at the same time still be emotional, and delirious on deep things in life.

Updates….

As I have mentioned above, that movie ‘music and lyrics’ has shed some light, in a way. I have realised that right now, I am looking for a way into love… Though the actual song has ‘back into love’, it doesnt really apply to me. I realised that I just have to be content with where I am standing at right now. Though I know the person, and I even sometimes see the person everyday "I know that it’s out there", I just have to stay put and wait for that magic moment. Im not even sure if, I will be able to realise that moment when it comes, because I am pretty sure that it will be really random, never-theless I’m still excite. In closing, "I need inspiration, not just another negotiation". It’s what I’m looking for. I’ve had that negotiation kind of relationship… And I believe it’s still sort of going on at the moment (that person would know), but it’s ending will come, and I’m almost ready to let go.

To actual physical updates now, of real outer events that’s going on with me. Well, tommorrow I am going to a photo shoot at camperdown, downtown sydney. Cool yeah? Well, I won this competition thingy that I signed up for I dont remember when, and they gave me a call this morning telling me to come tommorrow. So, expect for the actual pictures in a few weeks, one month the most. Another thing, my birthday is coming up!!! Anyone reading this, please give me some suggestions on ways to celebrate my special day of reckoning to adulthood. So, go on! COMMENT!! COMMENT!!! COMMENT!!! please, give me a sign that at least one person is reading this very bloody blog of mine. I’ve shed so much emotion in this page.. Geeez, give some love! hahahahaha.

p.s. for my friends back in the phillipines:

except for derek, jericho, and ernesto.. gamahay na jud ko sa inyong tanan! :’( walay ga tubag sa akong mga testi, comments, and messages.. hu hu hu. but i guess, busy kayong lahat, and I dont realli matter a lot in your lives anymore. Oh WELL!

till my next pose, post rather!

ciao! melo.

This is a brief description of my days in a week:

Monday- Oh great, it’s the start of another week. L0l. Or, Thank God for giving me another week of life, but English is just the most b0ring way to start it. Two hours of that class just drives me insane. Then I have maths after a two hour gap, which I usually just skip, c0z it is such a waste of time! Instead, I hit the gym. Then, 5.30 comes I’m off to my Business class. At least a subject I like.

Tuesday- Modern History day. Sleeping In day!!! I just love Tuesdays except for when I’m broke due to heavy shopping from the latter days of the previous week. Although overall, it’s all good coz I get to sleep in, and go home early.

Wedneday- Pay day at 5! woohoo, spending time! I usually end up getting ‘drunk’ (restless) and go home tired on this day.

Thursday- Most dreaded day ever! Maths in the morning, the classes all the way to 5.30. Then, work from 5.30 to 11.00! Gimme a break!!

Friday- TGIF. One subject, and it’s legal.. Then I have the rest of the day off, or for work.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Then, it’s the end of the week.

What I really need right now:

My double choc chip frap!!! Please, prove to me that miracles happen :’( hu hu hu. I NEED YOU.

My bestfriend, I need a journal to talk to.. magparamdam ka naman dyan!

Wednesday afternoon- oh, wednesday afternoons I need you to come so quick.

TIME TO GO BY QUICK!

As you all probably obviously see.. Uhhm, I deleted all my past blogs. There was something that triggered me to do it. A girl? Yes. But it doesnt matter. It’s all ok with me now. I mean, hello! It’s my fault anyway. I mean, I’m the dumb one who let’s other people come in my life and affect me. Though I can see I’ve moved on, I wont close the whole case yet. You never know, I see her again to today, or tommorrow, or we talk again sometime, then I might go for another fall. I just thought the past posts have been kind of unnecessary too. And, … I just thought I might as well make a new start AGAIN, to celebrate my new pair of glasses?? hahaha. lol. I’m just looking for excuses.

Uhhhhm, I still dont have the net, and Tafe is getting busier. So, I’m not going to be the same old bored person updating my blog every single hour. Plus work is becoming more competitive too, so I’ll prolli find myself studying more about coffee nowadays, than ever before..

I’ve also decided to keep my emotional and dramatic blogs to myself. Then, I can even write deeper things, and I can be more honest with what I write. I get to say names, and I dont have to be abstract with the way I write. I would say, that blog would be open to one person only, but it wouldnt matter to that person. To the rest of the world, too bad I’ve moved to being a little bit more private now. Though I will always be me, writing my stories in this page.

That’s it for now.. I’ll probably be back in another hour when I transfer to another computer for another session.

ciao0oz!